I am going to assume that you have read Fifty Shades of Grey or at least know what the book is about.  Last week, I was watching The View while I was blow drying my hair.  The co-hosts were bantering back and forth about why the book was so bad, so detrimental to women everywhere.  Their arguments were so ridiculous.  Actually, the comments were so off base, it was clear that they hadn’t read the whole book.  Perhaps they just skimmed it or read the New York Times book review.  I have since heard about libraries banning it, women’s groups bashing it and well…I just don’t get and here is why.

Three Reasons why “Fifty Shades of Grey” Makes Us Better Women

1.  **Reading “Fifty” has created new habits for us**  I have girlfriends who haven’t picked up a book since their kids stopped reading “Goodnight Moon”.  Suddenly, I have girlfriends who can’t put down a book.  In fact, they have read all THREE books.  It takes 3 weeks to create a habit.  If you read all three books, chances are you are going to do this over the course of a few weeks.  When most of them were finished, I heard questions like, “So, what are you reading now?” and “I’m on Amazon downloading such and such book.”  I don’t know about you, but getting in the habit of reading a book instead of watching another reality show about housewives (who probably don’t read much) is a great thing.

2.  **Reading “Fifty” has strengthened the bonds of women for the better**  Women love to gossip.  They love to gossip over lunch, in carpool, at the gym, on their cell phones, after church and now, what do I over hear???  “Okay, what part are you on?” and when I listen a little closer, sure enough, they are talking about “Fifty.”  I run with a friend three times a week and I cannot tell you how fast the runs go because we are just rehashing everything we have been reading.  How cool that this trio of books has given us something else to talk about?  Yes, we are bonding over literature!

3. **Reading “Fifty” has made us better wives/lovers**  Yes, I am going to talk about sex here.  This is where I hear the most complaining about why the book is “so bad for women.”  Now, if you haven’t read the book, stop reading this post RIGHT HERE.  I’m not spoiling it but I don’t want to wreck it for anyone.  All right, everyone that has finished all three books knows that this is a TOTALLY monogamous relationship.  Christian makes this VERY clear right at the beginning.  The sex acts are performed, for the most part, in their own houses (cars, hotel rooms..okay, the occasional elevator) by two CONSENTING ADULTS.  In today’s society where everyone from your next door neighbor to celebrities, to sports figures and politicians are engaging in affairs, how refreshing to read three books where not ONCE is there an ounce of adultery?  Now, I am NOT saying that I want to be bound and gagged but does reading this make me want to be a little sexier with my husband?  YES!!!!  And that, my friends, is a very good thing.   I don’t think there is a husband on this planet that would complain about that.

There you have it.  Three reasons why I KNOW I am a better gal for having read the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy.

P.S. I love it so much that I made a board for it on Pinterest!

A Guest Post By Paisley Piasecki ’13

“Rejoice and love yourself today, ‘cause baby, you were born this way.” – Lady Gaga, Born This Way

Finding your own, inner style can be one of the hardest things to accomplish these days.   With so many trends changing every season, and magazines like Teen Vogue and Seventeen telling you what’s in and out. Sometimes, it seems like the media and society try to tell you that if you aren’t wearing a certain style, you’re not “cool.” Not true! Look at style icons like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga: They follow some of the trends, but they have a complete look of their own, and sometimes, they set the trends!

Style, in my opinion, is what we are most comfortable in and what makes us feel proud of who we are. One day, you may see me in black combat boots with skinny jeans and a ripped shirt. Another day, you may see me in a pink dress and a pair of converse. Although I like to try different looks all the time, I know that I will always come back to a clean, casual outfit with light makeup and some sparkle. Also, the color pink, has never failed me.

Everyone has a certain look that embodies who they are. One of the toughest experiences of growing up is sometimes accepting who you are. This has everything to do with finding your personal style. Whatever makes us truly happy is what we will feel best wearing, and we should take ownership of that, no matter what anyone tells us! In a world where opinions mean everything to many, many people, it is very easy to be manipulated into thinking we aren’t good enough, or we aren’t accepted. In Junior High, I found my style, but it took me a while to understand that it was okay for me to be different. A pivotal moment in my life was when I cut my hair into a short bob in the seventh grade (like it is now). I had the shortest hair out of all the girls in my class, and the popular look for teens in Newport Beach was, and still is, to have hair down to your waist. That day was huge because, in reflection, I realize that it was the day that I dared to be different! That’s what style is all about: You have to take risks to find out what you like, and once you know what it is, you shouldn’t feel obligated to change! The best way to really “work” an outfit is to be confident in it.

The next time you are tempted to change an outfit for the sake of fitting in or preventing stares, stop. Listen to your own mind. What is it that will make you feel the best that day? What is it that will make you happy? Once you find that, own it. Embrace it. Work it, girl!

Paisley Piasecki is a high school junior, a varsity golfer and my fabulous daughter.  You can follow her on Twitter @PaisePaise when finals are over….

I felt like an expert choreographer.  Besides planning a 7 day, 5 city, 2 hotel, one rental car college tour that included three people leaving from the same city but returning to different cities, I had to leave my small biz during the worst week of the month.

The 8^th through the 16^th of every month is my busiest.  Everything lands during this time.  Billing reports come in, doctors get paid, staff payroll, every bill is due, and it is also the week that every insurance company (I own a medical practice) releases the bulk of their payments.  We had to take our trip during this time periods because it is when our daughter was on Spring Break.  I’ve been dreading it for months.  I am now on the other side of it and it all went smooth.  Did it go smooth because I was lucky?  Because I am uber-organized?  Because I am a drill sergeant?  Because I have a great staff?  YES!!!!  All of the above.

As a small business entrepreneur, you often “do it all”.  Many times when you take on a trip, you cannot just leave it all behind.  This was one of those trips.  I was able to do a lot of stuff before I left (pay bills and some minor paper work) but many things were out of my control and had to be done while I was gone.  In order for me to go, a small army had to take over to make sure everybody got what they needed.  It was shocking to me just how many people it took just to do what I do.  It surprised me!  It is also a big reminder that being a solopreneur is not easy and often times, lonely.

Today, I am up early (thanks to east coast jet lag), armed with a long “to do” list and I know it will take me at least a week and a half to catch up and feel back in control.  So what is the lesson folks?  Don’t take a vacation during your busiest week?  Never take a vacation because it is too hard?  No one can ever replace you?  Nooooo.  The lesson is that sometimes as an entrepreneur, you won’t get to relax on a trip.  And, as a control freak/perfectionist (there, I said it!), sometimes you have to be out of control.  Not every lesson is a good one.  Some are reality checks.

I read recently that bloggers were the new celebrities.  I know a blogger who just landed a hair commercial.  That was pretty rad.  I know a blogger who was in a cosmetics ad within the pages of Vogue.  That was rad, too.  But when I see Denise Richards tweeting about a frozen meal, one time, that she was probably paid thousands of dollars for…well, I have to think celebrities still have it.

Many years ago, before I was older and wiser, I had a small t-shirt business called “Penal T’s”.  I was convinced that if I just got a t-shirt on Pam Anderson, I would have a winner.  I stood on line at a local bookstore for 3 hours to meet her and give her a t-shirt.  Did she wear it?  She probably couldn’t get it over her chest.  Did she love what it said?  LOVED it!  Did she let me tell people that she had one?  Yes.  Did it land me a tiny blurb in the December issue of Playboy that year?  Yes.  Was it a Merry Christmas for Penal T’s?  You bet!  All of this happened way before famous people carried the weight that they do now.

What do you think?  Would your sales take off with the “celeb stamp of approval”?

*I didn’t score as high as my friend

*My feature in the magazine was smaller than hers

*My creme brulee wasn’t as crispy on top as the one at The Ritz Carlton

*My biz plan said I would be profitable in 3 months not 10

*That girl is thinner than me

Stop comparing, start enjoying!

]]> http://www.itsmecassie.com/rant/have-you-felt-joy-lately/feed/ 2 http://www.itsmecassie.com/uncategorized/bizetiquette-3-vacation-message/ http://www.itsmecassie.com/uncategorized/bizetiquette-3-vacation-message/#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:30:27 +0000 Cassie http://www.itsmecassie.com/?p=171

The auto reply vacation message is a great thing. It can alleviate the wonder of knowing whether you are out of town or just ignoring your clients when you don’t answer their message. It is also probably the last thing you think about upon your return from Tahiti. When you turn it on as you are boarding the plane, put a reminder into your calendar to remind yourself to turn it off.
The same rule applies to the voice mail message announcing your vacation plans. Change it when you get back!

I have a couple people that I follow on Twitter and Facebook who have a ton of “friends”.  They are on there Twittering away all day.  She is “going to this thing, going to that thang, offering this for free, givin’ away that for free”.  And, I think, “ya, but is she making any money?”  I just don’t get that feeling from her.  She’s hustling and name dropping but I don’t see that turning into dollars.  Then I have the opposite “friend”, she has a cute business, has the nice blog with the pretty pictures.  A friendly tweet there and a little quote here.  And, I look at her and think, “she is sitting at home NOT hustling.”  I don’t think she is making any money.  Sure, she thinks she is a business owner, but I think she didn’t realize that she was going to have to work it!  I also have been talking to some business owners that are putting in some big time elbow grease into projects that just aren’t making $$$.  Maybe they were doing it because someone told them, “you need to do this” or maybe they strayed from their business plan.  Either way, you gotta look at the numbers and know when to call it a day.  One of my favorite restaurant managers told me that her business has sky-rocketed over the last two months.  A plastic surgeon friend told me that she is booked for the first time in a year.  Is it a sign that the recession has started to lift?  People might just be sick of staying in and not spending and now they are out opening their wallets.  Either way, if you have fallen into the “gosh, it’s a recession, things are slow” way of life, let me be the first to shake you out of that nightmare.  People are making money.  So come on, put on a nice outfit, and get out from behind the computer.  Get re-energized!  Wake up earlier, take a yoga class, and go for a run.  Read a book on biz; get inspired. Take a meeting.  Look at your old biz plan, make revisions.  Find the money and start making money!!!!!

This is an important thing to think about.  As the year comes to an end, it isn’t time to stop moving.  Now is the time to charge ahead, stay on track and get a game plan together for 2012.  Yeah, if you don’t do it now, you’ll spend the first few weeks of January figuring it all out and before you know it….its February.  Your business might be quiet right now if you aren’t a “holiday business” but that doesn’t mean you need to relax.  Take these quiet moments to do something to make your business grow.

Here are my top 4 things to keep the momentum going in December:

1.  LEARN
Take a webinar. Read a book on finances.  Learn a new social media platform (I like Quora).

2.  BE ENLIGHTENED

Take 5 minutes out of your day and meditate.  Yep, I say meditate in a blog about small biz.  Let those 5 minutes clear your head for new, creative thoughts.  Let them alleviate some stress.  Let them be your 5 minutes.

3.  PLAN FOR 2012
Get a piece of paper, a journal or even “notes’ on your Smartphone and start writing stuff down you want to accomplish in January.  Then, include a list of things that you want to achieve during the year.  Even if it is only 3 things, that is a start!

4.  SHARE
Tell someone what your plans are.  Actually saying it out loud will help you realize exactly what will work.  Sometimes when you hear the words, you realize the idea needs tweaking.  Telling someone also makes you accountable.  I know…that word is so grown up and responsible.  Do it!

Here is to major success in 2012…cheers!

Last week was our last SMARTY event for 2011, I have just inserted 2011 into my agenda and I’m planning year-end bonuses for my staff.  For me, these are all signs that the end of the year is upon us.  I took some time to reflect over all that I have accomplished in the last 10 ½ months in my businesses and in my personal life.  I did a whole lotta living!  I made of list of the things that took a lot of my time and gave me great returns and the things that didn’t pay off as well.  I took that list and realized there were some things that I really think are still worth pursuing and I just need to tweak how I am doing them and some things that I love but need to just put away completely or at least for now.  If I don’t take at least a peek at how I worked THIS year, how can I grow NEXT year if I continue doing some of the things that weren’t as good as they could be?  This exercise is on the top of my to-do list to complete by November 30^th.  That way I have a good 4 weeks to strategize what 2012 will look like for me.  I want that head start or I will find myself creating goals all the way through mid-February.  Do you do exercises like this?  I’m curious; what are you going to do different?  Are you going to tweak how you do stuff to make it work?  I’d love for you to share.